Saturday, 2 March 2013

February’s book: The 100 most pointless things in the world


Anyone that follows me on Twitter will know that I absolutely love the weekday afternoon game show, Pointless. My mum bought me the Pointless book for Christmas (I didn’t even know there was such a thing) and I just could not put it down once I started reading. The little quizzes and trivia along the way were also great – although not much fun when playing alone.
Basically the book is a countdown of the 100 everyday things that are deemed to serve no purpose and each contains an anecdote or story connected to why they should not exist. I found myself agreeing – and in some cases, disagreeing – with each and so the book really got you thinking, or worked up!
For example:
Agree
Disagree
92) Wind chimes – do these serve a purpose? Pointless!
96) Pandas – they’re cute, I’d love to see them in the wild!
83) Ready salted crisps – the most boring flavour, how are they popular? Pointless!
79) Duty free – how else would I kill time at the airport? And where would I get cheap(er) perfume/make up/alcohol?
37) Chip forks – surely we eat chips with our fingers? Pointless!
34) Mickey Mouse – If Mickey didn’t exist, neither would Minnie. I love her.
16) Phone boxes – we are in 2013 – pointless!
6) Zoo filler­ – they include giraffes in that – I love giraffes! They’re cute too!

Having read the book, it got me thinking. There are so many things that were omitted from the book that I encounter on a regular basis which are not only infuriating but also pointless. Here are my top 10:
10) Ticket machines
I regularly use the train to go to my boyfriend’s and unless I have pre-booked my tickets for collection at the station, I would much rather speak to an actual person than have to use those machines. Too many options on screen, the touch screen never works and there is never a queue for them, because they are so atrocious. Last time I had to use one (because there was 3 minutes until my train and the queue for the attendant was out the station), I missed my train because it said it wasn’t taking cards, yet rejected all my £20 notes. I eventually used my card so obviously the wrong options were showing. If they are the future, we are screwed. POINTLESS.
9) Queuing, full stop
I am an impatient person, thus I hate any form of queue. The worst queues are those you find yourself in because the place where you are queuing cannot be bothered to open more cashiers/check outs, or cannot be bothered to employ (and pay!) more people. The bank is the worst for that – five or more cashiers, yet one person working and you’re always queuing behind some really incompetent people who rarely leave the house. The second worst are places like Primark and H&M. Loads of cashier assistants but the majority don’t know what they’re doing. Or you’ve spent no more than £20 and every single person in front of you appears to have bought the entire shop. It’s not worth queuing 40 minutes! POINTLESS.
8) Nude tights
I’ll keep this one short and sweet. Worst thing ever. If you want cold legs, don’t wear tights. If you want to keep warm, wear blue/black (whatever colours your work uniform etc are) tights. If you are wearing nude tights because you haven’t shaved or fake tanned, please don’t. They are vile. POINTLESS.
7) Slogan tees (now also jumpers, onesies etc)
You think you are ‘cool’ because the word is sprawled across your clothing? You aren’t, you just look stupid. The worst are those ‘geek’ tees which everyone seems to be wearing. It’s even worse when they try and look geeky, by teaming them with those horrendous big thick black framed glasses without the lenses in. Whoever thought they were a good idea as well?! They’re awful. You just look a twat. And if you’re wearing something labelled ‘chill’ aimed at me to calm down, I won’t. POINTLESS.
6) Clown brows
They seem to be all the rage in Essex at the minute. You must permanently remove your eyebrows and then have them tattooed on. If you cannot afford to this you must get a thick black marker and paint them on. The final outcome is for you to look permanently surprised or confused and then you’ll look like everyone else! I may as well go one better and over-do the blusher, go lipstick crazy and learn unicycling! No, no, no. Why?! POINTLESS.
5) Cooking for one
I love cooking, I always have. I loved it at Uni because I shared a house with three girls and we would cook together and when I wasn’t cooking for them, I was making dinner for Jake. It was so much fun. I’m now back at home and as my mum and dad eat at 8 (too late for me), I spend every evening cooking for myself. Let’s be honest, cooking for one isn’t fun and is pretty pointless – why else do they sell ready meals in the supermarkets? I love that I can create different meals and I do eat well and healthy, but slaving over a cooker for an hour or so for meal just for me, it’s so much effort. POINTLESS.
4) Paying for delivery and then it doesn’t arrive
A standard delivery costs £3.95 and then there’s a big leap to £7.95 for next day delivery. I’m never that desperate for something to arrive and if I know I want something to arrive before a certain date, I just order it earlier, rather than leaving it ‘til the last minute. I am not a fan of paying extortionate amounts for delivery when the items don’t arrive on or before the date I have been told they arrive. This has happened on a couple of occasions and I wasn’t even given a refund, or any kind of compensation. I don’t give you money to pocket and then be inept. An apology would also have been nice. POINTLESS.
3) Paying for returns
By a similar token, I refuse to pay to return an item because it isn’t my fault. I understand if something is too big, or too small, or I don’t like it because it doesn’t look how I expected. But when something is broken, has a hole in, a rip or tear, why should I pay good money to return it, when I also paid for delivery? I recently bought a few bits in an online sale and while all my clothes were fine, I ordered a ring that arrived in an unsatisfactory condition. It had snapped and was in two pieces. Maybe I shouldn’t have cared because I had only paid £5 but I did. And it cost about £3 to return it. Why should we have to pay for things because company’s quality control departments are shoddy?! POINTLESS.
2) Football scores on the news before Match Of The Day
With social media and phone apps, it’s very rare that I don’t check or know what the football scores of the weekend are. Sometimes I’ve been busy so haven’t checked them and other times, have simply forgotten. The words I dread at around 10:15 on a Saturday evening are “if you don’t want to know the scores, look away now, or better still, leave the room”. I imagine everyone has the BBC news on because they are awaiting MOTD, where they will see all the goals and know all the scores, if they don’t already. If you’re not going to be watching MOTD, you will have checked the scores online, you will not be awaiting the 10 o’clock news to see what they were! POINTLESS.
1) Broken make up
It has no purpose, it’s money down the drain and it means you have to fork out for a replacement. Whether it’s powder, bronzer or blusher, it’s an annoyance. Bronzer is the worst and it ends up everywhere – in my case, mainly trodden into the carpet, which then doesn’t come out! Someone once said to me, when it happens, mix it with moisturiser but that didn’t go down well – orange and lumpy is not a good look. The best place for it is in the bin and then have a little cry because it’s more expense! POINTLESS.

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